Cupcake Kissin’ 4 – Alex Ankarr

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Cupcake Kissin’ 4 – Alex Ankarr

‘…and, in continuance and pursuit of the terms of that bequest,’ the senior lawyer guy – Mayhewlinson? – continues, looking at Caspar a little bit severely, over the top of his half-moon spectacles, ‘said legatee shall bind and oblige himself via signatory and notarized assumption of all duties of continuance of business, such that over a period of a minimum of twenty-four months all normal functions of the business shall continue unabated in all respects. Said legatee shall serve within all business roles including service, managerial, janitorial, administrative and accounting, for a minimum of forty-five hours per working week. Upon completion of all required conditions of the bequest, legatee shall be free to…’

Christ. Lawyer talk is something that works better than the most effective prescription sleep medication for Caspar, and most probably everyone else ever too. Why do the docs bother with pills, when they could just prescribe a video clip of some greybeard guy in a legal office, blathering on about stuff like this? No muss and no fuss, no side-effects.

Again he’s too busy drifting off, letting his tired mind take him down highways and byways, to focus on what’s actually going on. But he’s still somewhat aware that Cousin Peter keeps giving him sideways looks. Sideways grins, actually. Other members of the family, too, somehow manage to sneak the odd casual glance, which is pretty impressive considering where he’s located, up against the far wall behind them all.

Then it’s all being wound up. People are getting up from their seats, stopping and pausing here and there for a bit of chit-chat, gathering in little knots to express further sorrow and exchange reminiscences. Caspar gets caught up a time or two, and hugged once by Aunt Margaret, all lilac and rose voile and heavy French scent. Four people shake his hands, and laugh, and make incomprehensible jokes. Caspar thinks they’re jokes. They laugh a lot.

He assumes he has some comedy bequest that he slept through. Oh well, he thinks. It’s not so bad, to have provided some of his not-very-nearest, but still quite often dearest, with some amusement along the way. It almost justifies the whole trip, and the truly appalling expense of it.


© Copyright Alex Ankarr 2014

No unauthorised reproductions allowed. All rights reserved to the author. No inspirations for characters drawn from real-life individuals, no resemblance to real individuals intended.

Photo credit: duncan johnston under Creative Commons licence modified for book cover use.



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