That only earned a quick smirk, that cute pretty/ugly, joli-laid face quirking into a sly sweetness. “You didn’t spot me on ‘America’s Most Wanted’?” he asked, an innocent quirk to one ginger-brown eyebrow. “The bank-robber episode, eighteen months ago?”
Oh, he was damn cute. In fact, almost as cute as he thought he was. Adam swept past him with his face held rigid. Partly so as not to be too easy a mark, clearly gagging for it. But, mostly, because the hallway was draughty, and he was fucking freezing.
He went straight for the sofa in the living-room. Through the tiny reception room/holding cell. (His apartment was affordable: decent area x atom-sized = half his erratic income.) The sofa had a throw spread over it. Or it did until a moment later, when it was wrapped around Adam’s shivering ass, instead.
“Well, you’re home and dry, and, um, warm,” Markov said, from behind him. He was just on the threshold of the open door, hadn’t even taken a step inside.
image – Roman Vanur https://www.flickr.com/photos/80272075@N02/ licence https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/
Yeah, you didn’t get it wrong, and you’re not having hallucinations. (Knock off the gin a bit, though. It’s getting to be a problem.)
It’s a robin in a flower-hat.
What? Man, it’s fucking tough posting a blogpost every day! You try it!
You can expect a whole lotta cute animals in titfers over the next few days. And you are welcome!
image – Scott Koon https://www.flickr.com/photos/skoon/ licence https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/
And the project for this week iiiiiiiiiiiiiiis … Make An Artist’s Amulet.
An amulet. An amulet?
Aaah, right. I’ll get right on that.
…cuz mistakes are creative. See? If you made a mistake, took a risk, tried something, made something.
Me and Yogi Bear, like that.
A little late! But –
Week 2 – the Zumba things from Pam Grout’s ‘Art & Soul, Reloaded’ are: inventing a new soup, naming a rock band, and painting my nails with ten different shades of nail polish. Darn, I don’t think I’ve even got two different nail polishes in the house! (I do have some acrylic paint, and watercolours, and silver spray paint too. Maybe… )
image – Ilya Yakubovich https://www.flickr.com/photos/yakubovich/ licence https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/ no changes.
soup – wow, this is easy. I invent new soup all the time. I’ll put sunflower sprouts in the soup I was already going to make, and call it – eh – Potage Tournesol. Fancy, huh? You could put that on a toney menu and no-one would question it.
aaand would you go see a band called Iceberg Slimfit? (Or buy jeans with that label?)
image – pumpkincat210 https://www.flickr.com/photos/pumpkincat210/ licence https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/ no changes.
I think I have some purple nail polish in the house… Time to go explore…
Ehhh… you see… right…
It’s this Pam Grout ‘Art & Soul, Reloaded’ ongoing project I’m doing! No, it’s not specifically a part of the tasks set on a weekly basis, but… Well. Daily creativity, right? And I thought… the thing that I thought, was, ‘Well! It’d totally be in the spirit of the challenge, to produce a new bookcover for one of my titles, on a daily or weekly basis, right?”
Now. My talents are not in the visual realm, as is abundantly obvious. That don’t hurt! That’s in the spirit of the book, too. Well, so what? ‘I’ll just bang out a cover, never mind if it’s an eyesore, have fun, make something new, fantastic!’
That’s what I thought. So that’s what I did. And I totally thought that a white circle on a black background, plus some minimalist lettering, would be hugely damn amusing. A moon, right? Satellites. Wolves. Running with the pack, howling at the moon, all the clichés. It would be sort of terrible. But funny. Humorously, good-naturedly in the spirit of the thing. But…
Hey, I’m not saying it’s, er, Michelangelo or something. (Or a renowned book-cover designer, names of whom I am clearly unfamiliar with.) But…
Eh. I sort of like it.
Oh! You want more ideas? What you think this is, an idea-shop?
Yeah, yeah it is. You want fries with that?
a) Grab your crafting box, get out the beads. If you don’t got no beads, break apart the necklaces you don’t like. Voila! Beads! Make earrings, decorate t-shirts… make creepy little beaded voodoo dollies. Do a little voodoo on your ex-boyfriend. Not too evil.
b) Find something broken in your home. Either throw it out, mend it, or use it to make something else. ETA: don’t break something just in order to have something to use! Unless, you know… you wanna.
c) Go through your pile of to-be-thrown-out newspapers and magazines, make a collage. Make a my-life-in-five-years collage. Include a Tesla!
Ha, think I’ve got the hang of this… oh no, that was the last one of the week!
image – ~Dominic Tootell https://www.flickr.com/photos/dominictootell/ licence https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/ not altered.
OK, three random ideas required for the third day of this crazy project. And frankly, the old noggin is running dry. But here goes nuthin’. The point is the doing, right?
a) Take an old band t-shirt, cut it up and take a Barbie. Dress her in it – even if you’re just knotting together a makeshift muumuu.
b) Take a clip from an old public domain b&w film – maybe Sherlock, maybe Triumph of the Will – and give it a completely incongruous voiceover. How about Hyacinth Bouquet?
c) Come up with a convincing argument for why the least enthusiastic cook in your family/social circle ought to make you dinner tonight. hint hint hint.
image – tim https://www.flickr.com/photos/frumbert/ licence https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/ not modified
Woohoo, Day Two! Only twenty-four hours late!
Well. As discussed, the task for this week is social media monitoring, using some of that time creatively instead – and three zany ideas a day. Yep? Buckle up, bitches.
a) Pretend you’re a car salesman. Pick out the runtiest, tattiest motor on the lot – and write a personalized sales pitch for it. Focus on and highlight everything about it that makes it the bargain of the week, a marvellous find for any motor-vehicular connoisseur. Sell the chuffin’ heck out of that dilapidated old vehicle!
b) Cook with an ingredient you’ve never bought before. And, if you’re brave, eat the results!
c) Spend five minutes brainstorming a ghost-story – then, instead of writing it down, record it and upload it somewhere. There are plenty of sites available for such uploads – give us all a few chills!
image – Terry Bain https://www.flickr.com/photos/axis/ licence https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/
watching special on netflix – just had to ask OH ‘honey, is MY titty game bananas?’ He say, ‘baby, it’s the whole damn fruitbowl!’
I might replace ‘loving guys loving guys’ with ‘honey says my tittygame’s bananas!’ on my blog header. What say you, peeps?
Seriously, Neil Brennan is awesome, and funny, and sad, and naughty! Check ‘im out!
Merry Christmas folks. Have a good one.
image – https://www.flickr.com/photos/geyergus/ licence https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/ unaltered.
If you’ve missed Asian Provocateur, the latest Rangathan telly vehicle – how could you miss it, I’ll be marking you down for that later – don‘t miss it!
The first episode has already been shown on terrestrial TV, but you can find all eps here. The first ep, oh so funny! Romesh stuck on a stick out in the sea, swearing at the cameraman because it takes him three hours to work out that there’s actually a way down!
Oh my days. His mum’s a star too.