fnaar fnaar nurse! the screens!

I love Ralph.  Let me get that straight from the start.  But!  11.44 on this here vid – ‘I wake up every day with a bunch of grapes in my mouth’.

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What is it with motivational/LoA/religious speakers and humungous out-of-control runaway innuendo?  Huh?  Joel Osteen, too – ‘deposited something on the inside‘, lately, buddy?  It’s like they don’t know they’re doing it – but how can they not know they’re doing it?  Are they just adorably innocent?  Are their ids conspiring against them?  Is it all terribly Freudian?

(Actually I’m not sure Ralph doesn’t know he’s doing it.  That’s a wicked little smirk on his handsome face there.  Bless him.)

 

another installment in the creepy-crawly saga

Spiders, right?  Spiders, beetles, creepy-crawlies, things that crawl over your hand in the night…  Except that maybe the spider that crawled over my hand wasn’t a dream after all.  Because the night after, my partner screeched out a great yell from the bathroom, and I went running hell for leather to see which leg he’d broken.

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He hadn’t, though.  No, he’d spotted a spider on the wall.  A great, fat, juicy, gross monster of a spider, that looked like it couldn’t possibly be a UK national, must surely have smuggled itself in under a bunch of bananas.  The kind of spider that Brexit was invented for, that’s almost enough to put you off the ideal of the free movement of peoples – and spiders – across borders.

And then he took a newspaper and he splatted it.  No searching about for a cup to coax it into, no throwing it out unharmed into the night.  Poor Mr Spider, I am sorry all over again!  It was a monster, though.  But doesn’t a monster spider have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of Mrs Spider?  Arachnid rights, people!

What’s it all about then, arachnids of my manor?  Spiders of the ‘hood, what’s the word?  What are you trying to tell me?

I think maybe I really ought to begin on my serial of ‘The Entomologist and No-Spidersman’.  I’m afraid of what might come visiting otherwise.

Image – USGS Bee Inventory and Monitoring Lab, public domain.

 

A) You’re adorable, B) You’re so beautiful, C) You’re a cutie full of charms

Lately, I’ve been writing five lists when I get up in the morning, first thing I do.  The first list is the gratitude list, just like they tell you you should do.

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I’ve always meant to get started on it, but somehow it’s taken me this long to actually get around to it.  I always felt like, well, I’m grateful, I’m a grateful person, I think about the things I’m grateful for all the time.  Doesn’t that count for the same?  But, when it comes down to sharpening the pencil, finding a blank page in a favourite notebook and actually getting down to making the list, it’s a whole different beast.

The process matters.  Like praying, it’s the actual words of the prayer, the getting down on your knees, the willingness to give up the time and do the work, instead of just thinking about it and thinking that makes it so.  Like the Steve Jobs quote – ‘the disease of thinking that having a great idea is really 90 percent of the work’.

So that works, and it’s been good.  Ten things I’m grateful for, every morning, varying from day to day but often the same things showing up – my partner, my parents, Theresa May getting a kicking in the election, the usual things.  It’s always ten items, for simplicity, and because an arbitrary number makes you really think – stretching for gratitude when the list is difficult to finish, making hard choices when there are too many candidates for too few spots.

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Then I move on to the second list, and another ten items.  The second list is my ‘hello universe’ list.  Signs, signals, little tips and winks and nudges from the universe to put me on another path or confirm the way I’m heading, or just to say ‘hi there, hi.  you’re not alone’.  I don’t generally get ten signs or synchronicities a day, and repetition from day to day is fine.  But almost always, I have something new to add to the list – like, I turn on the radio and there’s a discussion going on about something I’m thinking about right that second.  Or someone’s name comes up in every book I open, every song I hear.

Then there’s the third list, which is the daily To-Do list.  This is self-explanatory, and probably very little different from anyone’s to-do list.  Paperwork, shopping, phone-calls to make, nothing unusual.  The fourth list is Work, and is a more narrowly-defined to-do list with purely professional/work/money based items to be ticked off.

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The fifth list is maybe the most important.  It’s the ‘The Ones I Love’ list, and what could be more important than that?  Listing off ten people you love – changing little from day to day, maybe the slightest variations according to the vicissitudes of life and relationships – is guaranteed to open the heart, lighten the spirits, make the world a more beautiful place.

I find it so, anyhow.  It makes every day a good day. 

Every morning, the ritual, then.  Except that yesterday morning, my brain was on the fritz, glitching away with senior moments.  The first four lists I dashed off fine, pleased with my spiritual and practical processes and progress.  Then when it came to the Love List, I had a dyslexic moment.  Instead of ‘love’, you see, I wrote ‘evol’.

The Evol List – I was writing – apparently – the Evol List.  It sounds a little sinister, doesn’t it?  Packed full of supervillainy and miscreants, you’d think.  Who needs a list of evol-doers in their life?

I went to strike it out, to correct it.  And then I hesitated, and I thought.  Well, if you believe in signs and synchronicities – and I do – don’t these things happen for a reason?  At minimum, maybe my brain was talking to me.  Unconscious to superego, are you reading me, superego?

Evol.  Hmm.  Take a look at it.  It’s not exactly love in reverse.  It’s more of a mish-mash, the ingredients of love taken and misused by a terrible cook.  What would an Evol List consist of?

I didn’t think about it too much, then.  There were ten spots on the list, and I filled them up, quick, not too much pondering.  With names, with people in and out of my life.  Some of them were names of people who often appear on my Love List, too.  Maybe people I have very imperfect relationships with, but who still merit the word love in my mind, in my heart.

Some of them weren’t.

And I took the list, when I’d written it, and thought about the names on it.  Sighed a bit, and got on with my day.

Who would go on your Evol list?  Who would go on your Love List?  Would any of the names be the same, on both?

 

Image – holytimeland on Flickr, public domain.

Image – lizzi idiomas on Flickr, public domain.

Image – Jack Ambler on Flickr, public domain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

meditative epiphanies

I had an insight while meditating.  (Better get used to it, if you’re reading regularly).  First, a Bible passage sprang into my mind.

The steps of a righteous person are ordered by the Lord. Psalms 37:23

And then this thought.

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Image by Beryl_snw on Flickr, public domain.

If your steps are ordered – guided, approved, meaningful – then doesn’t it make sense to take a lot of them?  Instead of just praying vehemently and waiting for your desired things to fall into your lap, to go out into the world and do your part, as part of the universe, in making it so?  A lot of ordered, guided steps!

Very like Steve Pavlina’s posts on massive action, and the comments of those wiser than I on adherents of the Law of Attraction who think it sufficient to achieve the ‘correct vibration’, without going out and doing, going after what they want.  Like the universe is going to dump a Porsche and their soulmate in their laps, right there at home.  Vibration is movement, people, by definition!  Vibration is action!  It’s taking steps!  (Divinely ordered ones, of course.)

The Universe is in motion, and you are part of the Universe.  If you want it to bring you what you desire, you’d better remember that you form part of the machinery that can actually do that.  Little cog, get moving!