how sharper than a serpent’s tooth…


I don’t care what’s sharper.  It’s the tooth that counts.  I’ve got a tooth that needs looking at, after a filling fell out.  I think maybe it’s going to need a crown, and the very thought is an affliction and a scourge.  Damn it.

The thing is, it doesn’t hurt, not a bit.  Who can bring themselves to drag themselves to the dentist for extensive dental work, when nothing hurts?  It’s more than is reasonable to ask of mortal flesh.  Isn’t it?

Thing is, I’m pretty sure the filling fell out after I got fed up with trying to get a vitamin bottle open, and took my teeth to it.

And I’ve got at least three pre-existing chips elsewhere in my dental equipment, due to gnawing away at purse fasteners, bottle ring-pulls, pencils and whatnot.  You’d think the penny would drop the first time, that it’s generally not a good idea, wouldn’t you?

Wouldn’t you?

Teeth.  Huh, what are they good for.  They had the right idea in my gran’s day – whip ’em out and have some nice false choppers installed. Solid oak!


things I don’t understand about Ralph Smart 2

When he says ‘waking up with a bunch of grapes in your mouth!’  (He says it all the time.)  Does he mean literally…  Wouldn’t you choke?  What does he mean?

(Is it a gay sex thing?  Is it?  Isn’t it?  It sounds like a gay sex thing.  It sounds like teabagging, tbh.)

I don’t think he actually means a gay sex thing.  But it still sounds like a gay sex thing.

Ralph, I love you.  I can’t understand half of your tricks, tics, slogans and twitches, though.